Check Your Drama at theDoor

She provided plenty more unpleasantness in the hours they we're at the hospitaland in her ten-minute-interval phone calls once he got homebut I won't drag this out with the blow-by-blow account.

And then she wanted to visit him the next day. All that unpleasantness, and she actually expected to waltz into our home. Absolutely not. (Kapena didn't want to deal with her anyway, so no conflicted feelings there.) She went ballistic, texted me that "u r not going to see my son today" (a message I read aloud to the son in question, who was stretched out next to me on our bed, watching movies while I worked on my writing assignments), and she called the police.

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She has this strange mindset of actually believing that whatever she wants , she has a right to. As another example, she told Kapena she was going to come and take his car away if he wouldn't see her. (He bought that car with his own saved money, and only his name is on the titlebut she's so sure she has a right to what-she-wants that she threatened to bring the police with her for that project too) Not surprisingly (to us , at leastthough I have no doubt it came as a shock to her ), the police did not choose to act on her complaint that she was being denied entry into a private home, in which a Minor was staying with his legal custodial parent.

In her heated text-exchange with Kapena, she also said (the final straw for him) that he deserved the beating she gave him last summer. ( That's a text we'll be saving.) At that point he told her in no uncertain terms that he doesn't want her in his life at all, and he stopped taking her calls and texts.

But She showed up for his post-op follow-up appointment this morning. And oh man, was she pissed that I was there. In the waiting room we sat slightly apart from her, and had a quiet and pleasant conversation with a few laughs And then when we all trooped into the exam room, left to wait for the doctor, she threw her fit. Went on and on about how she has the "right" to see him whenever she wants because she's his mother, and that she wouldn't have a problem except for " that person" (meaning me, of course) being present"She has no business being here, she has nothing to do with this, she's not involved, and I have to sit there and hear her laugh "

Kapena answered angrily, "Everyone I WANT to be involved is involved," but she continued a whole tirade, during which I kept quiet, though I confess I did sort of snort when she threatened taking us to court.(Sure,trythat. The only "material change in circumstance" since the last custody order is that she committed fraud to get a Social Security payment bigger than our annual income, blew through it in a few months, and ended up in a homeless shelter last month)

She harped on my waiting-room laughter more than anything, and to be honest, it would have been comical except for Kapena's distress. He kept asking her to "Stop talking. Please. Just stop talking." And then, "Leave, just please leave." Which she didn't, of course. And she got visibly more steamed when the doctor came in and I was the one answering questions about his first few days of recovery and his planned physical therapy and his Medicaid coverage (Usually Kapena would answer some of those questions himself, but today he was tight-lipped and silent.)

The appointment finished, Keoni stayed back to check out, and she and Kapena and I stepped into the waiting room, where she demanded that he step aside and talk with her. (Translation: step aside to be yelled at.) He declined. She insisted. I intervened with the only words I spoke to her the whole time: "Not if he doesn't want to." When she realized he wasn't going to budge from my side, she stormed toward the elevators, turning to toss a parting shot across the crowded waiting room: " You SUCK, Bitch! " (Seriously? She's old enough to be my mother, and she's going all "Junior High" on my ass!) You know what I did, right? I laughed.

They say laughter is the best medicine. I think it might be the best weapon .

***

More Importantly : Our heartfelt thanks to everyone for their prayers and "virtual hugs" and recovery-wishes for Kapena! I'm tickled to report that he's doing GREAT. The doc was pleased and surprised that he's already walking around with just his leg-brace, no crutches. (Given Keoni's record-breaking recovery from his knee-replacement surgery last December, maybe rapid-healing-of-knees will become a Tyler family tradition.) He hit the weight-room today (upper body only) and he's planning to go back to team practices starting tomorrow (not to participate yet, but to stay in the middle of things) We're starting to feel a sneaking optimism that he may not be out for his whole Junior season after all But time will tell.

We had a steady stream of his friends passing through the house over the weekend, and his new girlfriend spent most of the weekend here, and (aside from all the crap with his mother) he's been in a really upbeat mood. Things are looking good!

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Thank You

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Posted in Other Health and Medical Post Date 06/04/2015


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