A month since the breakup

It's officially been a month since I broke up with my boyfriend of two and a half years. I've spent countless hours shit talking him with my friends and crying and resisting the urge to call him and ask him how he's doing. It's just hard to go from always having someone to call who knows everything about you to being on your own. It catches me by surprise that I have to constantly explain things because I don't have my best friend by my side to understand and clarify to the rest of the group. I'm still getting used to not having someone to introduce me to other people anymore. I miss taking perfect pictures together and riding bikes and getting flowers. I miss holding hands and his arms and the messes he would make and never clean up. I miss being irrational and yet unashamed of how I was acting. I miss whining and crying and laughing like a maniac knowing that he wasn't going to leave.

We had something great, but we lost it. Each little hurt, each side remark. each forgotten detail added up and weighed down on us until we changed into people we said we'd never be. I couldn't go one more night staring into the mirror and only seeing cold lifeless eyes staring back. Being with him was easy, it was what I was used to. It was what I had always done. Even when we admitted we weren't right for each other anymore, getting back together after short breakups is just what we did.

Ha ha! E mail promotion really does work... the proof is the fact I am bringing up QuakesBaseball who just now sent me a fantastic promo e-mail. Anyone looking for a baseball camp? My apologies, tangent I am aware... I'm going to try and focus.

This time is different. This time, we didn't end up so we could change for each other, we ended it so we could change for ourselves . And as scary as it is, I'm actually really happy with who I'm turning out to be.

If you ever read this, I've always wanted to know what you we're thinking. I'm sorry I never got to find out, but I'm also sorry I ever asked.

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Thank You

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Posted in Other Health and Medical Post Date 01/29/2015






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